Never Skip Getting Dressed
okay, maybe not never, but i think you should more often than you don't, and I'm giving you a running list about why you should make time to get ready everyday
If you have been here for a bit, you’ve hopefully read at least one piece from me that talks about how much I believe in the power of getting dressed. Feeling good about what you’re wearing, and having a streamlined way to get yourself ready for the day ahead — these are, in my opinion, pinnacles of heaving a healthy routine, taking care of yourself and feeling your best.
In the fall of 2023, right around when I was gearing up to go to back to work after being on maternity leave with my third baby, I found myself jotting down (read: typing into the notes app!), “I am a better version of myself when I get dressed.”
The days of my maternity leave when I got up and put on an outfit for the day (which often times was a simple as an exercise dress, or bike shorts and a t-shirt) I felt WAY better over the course of, and especially at the end of, the day. It wasn’t about putting on a super chic outfit, or the best combo possible- it was about taking a few minutes to think about what I was planning on doing that day and then getting myself ready for it. I thought about it so much that I went on to write a whole essay entitled, “I’m a Better Mom When I Like My Outfit.”
Wearing something that you feel good in — please notice my use of the word FEEL GOOD — because there is a difference between feeling good and looking good, and I’m talking about here, what I’m saying is important - it’s feeling good. When you feel good, you look good. Feeling good is totally personal, and has nothing to do with what others (or the world) tells you looks good. You’re the only person who’s opinion matters about all of this.
When you put something on, and you feel good, maybe even great - that full body YES, that feeling that - this is it, I feel good, I feel like myself — it’s infectious. It grows and can help you set (and hold) an intention for a day, turn your day around, set it in a particularly direction, feel in control, do whatever it is you need to do on a given day.
Let me share an example - this past week was a full one at work, particularly with the Monday holiday. I spent Tuesday in a day of 30 minute back-to-back meetings, ending the day with a giant list of to-dos that I hadn’t had a second to tackle or prioritize. On Wednesday, I knew I was going to need to go into work and be Focused and Productive (capitals are intentional). I had been thinking about my barrel-leg corduroys the night before, and thinking that I hadn’t worn them in awhile, mostly because of how cold it’s been I haven’t wanted to expose my ankles. I wondered whether I could pair them with my black boots, and landed here:
Simple, streamlined, comfortable, with tiny bits of personality via a gold rolo chain that I added a pearl charm to (which, of course you can’t see in this photo). I felt like I could do what I needed to do that day - which was put my head down and get a ton of stuff and work hard to not be distracted by anything non-urgent that would come my way. (By the way, I made good on this intention!) The outfit didn’t do the work, but leaving my home feeling confident, comfortable, polished and clearheaded did WONDERS.
And maybe you don’t think getting dressed matters. That’s totally cool with me. But, But, But. I WILL challenge you to try to put on something that makes you feel *great* - what that is is different for every person - and it doesn’t have to be fancy. I would willing to bet that when you wear something that you feel great about, that you feel like yourself in, that gives you that full body yes - you will agree - it’s a GREAT feeling.
Clothes do matter. Yes, it’s just stuff. Material things. So, in the hierarchy of things that *matter,* I, of course, understand where stuff lands. But, another way to think of stuff (or, at least some group of our stuff) is collections of things that resonate with us. That tell the world who we are and what we love and what is important to us. What you wear can help to make you feel great, and tell others who you are as you move through the world.
I was talking to a friend of mine recently, who regularly gets the immense privilege of hearing me wax poetic about clothes and outfit ideas and making time to take care of ourselves by getting dressed (ha, hopefully you can hear that I’m joking, but if you know me irl, then you can bet your a$$ I will be discussing this with you!)
We were at a volunteer event with our kids, decorating and packing bags of food, snacks and drinks for kids who receive support from our local food pantry. A really important activity, while we were also wrangling the five children we brought along with us. It was, like many things that you do with little kids, chaotic, loud, filled with various questions/comments/concerns/meltdowns/requests snacks/one million trips to the bathroom. And she looked at me and said, “one thing that I did that was so good this morning, was take a few minutes to get ready before we came out.” And I was like — YES. YESSSSSSS. (Also, not to toot my own horn but since I am tooting my own horn, she mentioned that she did it because I’m always talking about how important it is).
When she was overstimulated that morning, (as mornings with small children can so often make you!), she took a 10 minute beat — and got dressed, did quick makeup, styled her hair. And then - she felt ready for the day. And so, when we were masters of dealing with whatever wrinkles two 18-month-olds, two four year olds and a 6-year-old felt like throwing our way (many wrinkles!) - she felt just a little bit more able to take on whatever was needed from anyone that morning. The vibe was good!
And that’s just one, in a long, long list of reasons why you might consider taking a few minutes to get ready every day - regardless of what you are doing on that particular day. Other reasons, you might ask? Oh! You shouldn’t have, I definitely wouldn’t want to list as many reasons as I can think of to compel you to give this a shot, but fine, since you asked…
A running list of reasons why I think you should get dressed every day (okay, fine, MOST days!)
To trick yourself into feeling better when you’re having an off day.
To immediately boost to your self-esteem or confidence.
To feel more like yourself when you’re feeling off.
When you’re exhausted, and want nothing more than to spend the whole day in bed but you’re a full grown adult and you have no choice but to go on with it - you might as well look good while doing it.
If you have an important presentation, or meeting, or discussion, and you want to feel and look confident going into it.
To have 10 minutes to yourself to pop in your audiobook, or music, or favorite podcast and zone out.
To set the tone for the day you want.
Because you want to look great.
To give yourself something to look forward to everyday.
To trick yourself into feeling (and maybe even acting!) a certain way.
To feel really really good about yourself.
To find a reason to wear or use something you’ve been saving for the right occasion. Maybe it’s an item of clothing, a piece of jewelry, a new lipstick — Use it!!!
To get your mind out of ‘lounge’ state.
To give your focus or productivity a little boost.
Because picking out an outfit and feeling inspired by the clothes you wear, the accessories and jewelry you choose, the makeup you put on and the way you style your hair is a way to practice and exercise your creativity!
Because you love getting dressed up!
What have I missed…tell me in the comments!!!
And finally, a sneak peak into some of the things that I’ve worn recently, and what I’ve worn them for. I’m still shopping my closet, and now officially have several (okay, so several more than several) open tabs of things I’ve been eyeing and thinking about, (but so far staying strong on just thinking and looking!)
A grey + Black combo never fails me (also known as, I am addicted to these jeans!). Worn For: My first time serving Jury Duty! I was eventually dismissed from a criminal case but it made for an exciting morning! And then, since I found myself with a free afternoon, I took my butt to my tailor to get 3 pairs of pants that have been sitting in a “bring me to the tailor” bag in my car for approximately 6 months! Maybe this is your sign to do this too - because it literally took 15 minutes!
I am still going strong with the blue + red/burgundy combos - it is unlocking LOTS of new stuff in my closet! Worn for: a day in my office. I have owned this Vince sweater for over a decade. When I bought it, it was close to the most I had ever spent on a single item of clothing. But, this is a lesson in why fabrication matters — high-quality, 100% cashmere - I’ve worn this every single winter since I’ve owned it and it’s in amazing condition. EVERY time I buy a not-great-quality sweater, I regret it. I try very hard to keep a promise to myself that if it’s not wool, cashmere, or cotton, I will regret it, therefore I won’t buy it. The pants are donni and I love them. And the boots are a blatant dupe of The Row and they work great for me!
Worn for: On Fridays, I typically work from home, and have slightly fewer meetings. That means that I will often work out a little later in the morning, and stay in workout clothes until I have a break in my day that I can use to take a quick shower and get fully dressed. (In my life, getting dressed usually happens first thing in the morning, but it most certainly does not have to happen first thing in the morning!) I ended up spending most of the day in my workout clothes trying to get through a slue of things before officially calling it for the weekend (and took advantage of my walking pad while doing it!) But, I took my daughters for a little Friday Treat (trademarked in our house!) to get some cookies and visit my mom, so I took a little time midday to pull myself together. I used many tricks in my book here to get ready quickly — wore something you wore recently (the jeans), with something you know works (an oversized sweater), add a layer (a ribbed long-sleeve underneath both for texture and warmth). And then, because it was above 30 degrees, I took advantage of being able to expose my ankles because it brought me great joy!
My daytime outfits on the weekends usually skew quite casual, but I’ve been into adding a little *something* to feel a little more dressed up and special- In this case, it was a kitten heeled boot. I paired with the same black jeans I’ve been wearing constantly, (what can I say, when you love something you WEAR it!), a white tee and a denim shirt. Worn to: an indoor playground (where the shoes had to be removed, of course!), and then out to lunch at a brewery. Wearing this denim shirt (it is old, from the Gap), which is very oversized, reminded me of how much I love a denim shirt, and made we wish I had something slightly less oversized/slightly less like a jacket, that I could tuck in or wear with something dressier to add some interesting contrast. This shirt is on my potential wishlist. Really like the look of this too.
Okay, last one for this edition! Just a simple, streamlined outfit. Worn for: A day in my office, school pickup and dinner at home with my kiddos. These jeans are great ones if you work in an office environment that welcomes jeans because with a little heel or nice ballet flat they look more like a wide-leg trouser, but they also work just as well with sandals or sneakers on the weekends. I really love them!
Getting dressed is such a core part of my daily routine, it’s hard for me to say exactly which of the things from my “reasons to get dressed” list I’m checking off when I do it, but I can tell you — all of these outfits, and these days where I take time for the morning (usually!) ritual of getting dressed, they’ve helped me go through my day feeling like me, like the best version of myself. They’ve made it possible for me to focus on my to-do list, get whatever needed to get done, done, and feel confident, and in control.
Getting ready and picking out my outfit is something I plan for, look forward to everyday, that makes me feel good about myself and that I really love.
And, ps - because I realize now that I have gotten through this whole piece without mentioning how I make this possible — I either do this before my kids wake up, while my husband is in charge of the kids, or while I have pre-arranged childcare. It’s not magic - it takes habit and (at one point it did require a conversation with my partner about how to make time for this everyday, for both of us) setting expectations ahead of time. But if I can do it, you can do it too. I can’t wait to hear what you think & what questions you have about this. Thank you so much for reading!
ICYMI
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If you’re going to feel over stimulated, be terrorized (i use the word terrorirized in a loving way) by a small human
Your essay about being a better mom when you like what you’re wearing is what really made me want to start my own substack, because I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with that sentiment and I get myself ready before my two young kids every single day and I do not shy away from wearing real clothes around them. The worst thing that can happen is you need to get something dry cleaned! Anyways, it’s so nice to hear another mom saying this and you always look amazing. I follow you on Instagram too, I’m such a fan girl of yours 😍 Anywho… love the corduroy Marcelles!!! And everything.
I'm saving your list of reasons for those mornings when I'm on a struggle bus. Similar to a workout, I *never* regret putting myself together and it seriously does set the tone. Loved reading this!