I'm a better mom when I like my outfit
and 4 outfits I liked recently to inspire you to get dressed too!
There. I said it. You might think this sounds a little silly, but it’s true.
I have spent a lot of time recently thinking about getting dressed, and why it is so important to me. You can read a little more about that here.
It reminded me that holding on to my personal style is something that I always come back to during my motherhood transitions. Getting dressed is a way to find and connect with myself (and take care of myself!) in a time of intense change. It’s also what I do on a day when I feel like crap. I am a better version of myself when I get dressed.
You know that full-body “YES” reaction you get when you wear something you love? That’s infectious. When you feel great about what you’re wearing, you can turn your day around, or steer it in a certain direction from the start. You can focus better, do your job better, or maybe just trick yourself into feeling better when you’re having an ick day. Fake it ‘till you make it, right? It’s not that different from how I also feel my best when I move my body everyday, or eat the foods that make me feel great. All these things are part of how I take care of myself and feel my best, all of which contribute to how I show up in all areas of my life.
I have spent most of my life loving to get dressed and taking great care in my clothes and how I present myself to the world, but also feeling a little bit ashamed by that - Like it's not something I would tell others about myself. Finally, FINALLY, I feel over that shame. I owe that partially because I am older, and because I care a lot less about what other people think about me than I used to, but also because social media has given me a line of sight to so many incredible women who take fashion and style seriously and have made incredible careers for themselves out of it.
I totally get that not everyone feels this way - and that’s okay. We don’t have to agree about it! If you don’t care about what you’re wearing, then it doesn’t bother me - because I’m getting dressed for myself and I am over caring what other people think. That said - I would challenge anyone to try to put on something that makes you feel *great* - what that is is different for every person - and it doesn’t have to be fancy. I would bet that when you wear something that you feel great about, that you feel like yourself in, that gives you that full body yes - you will agree - it’s a GREAT feeling.
What I do take issue with is this notion that as a mother, especially as a mother of young children, I should not take care in what I wear. That it’s silly, or stupid, or selfish. That I couldn’t possibly have time for it.
When I show up the way that I do in the world, which is not particularly fancy, but does include outfits that I put thought and care into, and my baby is with me, or someone finds out I have three small kids, they will exclaim, “Oh my! But you look so nice!” As if the expectation that because I’m a mother of a baby and small kids, I should look…bad? Don’t get me wrong, the compliment is welcome - I appreciate it, and I make it a habit to tell others that they look great, or notice a particularly eye-catching outfit. But the way the comment is delivered has an underlying implication that people expect me to look like I have no time to take care of myself when I have a baby / toddler / child / whatever.
And trust me, I get it. It’s SO HARD to have small kids. Honestly, most of the time I think it’s hard for any of us to get out of bed in the morning and go about our normal daily routines, whether or not you have kids. There is a lot going on in the world right now. There has been a lot going on in the world for the past several years. It’s hard.
But I get very frustrated with the portrayal of motherhood as the martyr journey. That everything and everyone else comes first, at the expense of my own wellbeing. I love my children with my entire being. I am truly obsessed with them, I’m sure it’s extremely annoying to other people; I can barely hold a conversation without talking about them. But my not showering, or not getting ready, or not putting on clothes that I feel great in is not an expression of my love. There is not an inverse relationship between how I take care of myself and my love for my children.
Clothes do matter! And clearly women, mothers, (parents!) do want to get dressed in a way that makes them feel good, confident, comfortable in their own skin, like they can do the things they have to do every day - whatever that day might look like.
So, I’m not apologizing about this anymore. I’m wearing the freaking outfit any opportunity that I can. And I will (happily!) embrace my fate as the most overdressed gal at the party / playground / cafe / you name it!
If you love to get dressed to, but feel like you don’t have the time, or haven’t made your style an area of focus recently, I hope this is a sign that it’s worth it to take the time to poke around in your closet and try on a few things. Create a couple outfits and take pictures of them. Then, you automatically have something great to put on. When you know what you’re going to wear, or have an idea about it already, it can be as easy as pulling on leggings and a sweatshirt!
Follow people on instagram who inspire you and save their outfits. Re-create great outfits they put together with items you have in your own closet!
If you want to get dressed, and feel like yourself (the best version of yourself!) through your clothes, and need a little inspiration, here are a few things that I put on my body recently that I felt really good in, and plan to wear again!
THE RECIPE: JEANS + LADY JACKET / BUTTONED UP CARDIGAN + BALLET FLAT
Most days, especially when the weather is cooler, I am wearing some combination of jeans + sweater + additional layers / pieces as the weather allows. Even when I’m back at work, I’ll be mostly working from home, so this will likely continue to be my uniform. When I go into my office, I get a little more dressed up, but we are still pretty casual - unless with clients who have a particularly stringent dress code.
I was never not wearing ballet flats, but I have to say I am so happy that they are everywhere this season. I love the way they look with jeans, and they give a little feminine touch to a lot of my outfits! Margaux does them very nicely - they are so comfortable (a great piece for your X-mas list!)
I just bought these jeans and they are fabulous. Already planning on purchasing in another (darker) wash! Perfect high rise, straight leg, true denim. I’m wearing the cropped style - I am 5’ 6” and 27” inseam is my preferred length - hits right at the top of my ankle bone. Also the wash (Colorado) is the perfect medium/light - not too light for winter IMO!
This sweater is a great take on the lady jacket look, while also being a sweater. I’ll get a lot of runway out of a style like this because I’ll wear it to WFH, and also on weekends, out to dinner, etc. I like it fully buttoned-up as I’m wearing it, and also open! I also love how it’s styled on the Sezane model on the website - I just got this skirt from H&M for the holidays and plan to style it just like that! A roundup of more lady jackets here.
THE RECIPE: CREWNECK SWEATER + STRAIGHT JEAN + BALLET FLAT + BARN JACKET
Another play on a similar combination here. I bought this barn jacket this spring and I’m so glad I did. I love it so much - it has perfect details that make an everyday piece so special! It seems like its sold out - this is the current version.
These Levis are great. In general, I prefer a true denim jean, but it can be tricky to sit on the floor in / playing with my kids in / etc. These have a teensy bit of stretch while having that thick, sturdy denim feeling.
I bought these ballet flats on a whim when I walked into a Zara last March (when I am pregnant I basically just buy jackets and shoes!) I’m so glad I did - I wear them all the time. Margaux also makes their demi flat in silver. My daughter has the cutest pair of pink metallic cowboy boots so we had a little matching moment which she loved!
THE RECIPE: LONG SLEEVE SHIRT (TUCKED IN) + JEANS + BELT + LOAFERS
This is another very basic outfit that I wear on repeat. I added a coat when I went outside, which I will do all winter. But could also add a blazer, just a scarf, an easy cardigan. I keep it simple and straightforward and it works!
I am obsessed with this Mini-Rib Crewneck tee from Gap. I bought it on a whim to hit free shipping, and immediately ordered it in black. It’s soft, silky, slim cut but not too tight, the sleeves are long enough, I could go on and on. Oh and it’s not soo expensive that you’ll cry if you get a stain on it. I love how it looks on it’s own, but will also be layering under blazers, sweaters and cardigans all winter.
I considered many pairs of loafers this season, and ultimately, after a ton of research & consultation of other friends, I went with the G.H.Bass Whitney pair, and they are great. A totally classic penny loafer that is super comfortable!
THE RECIPE: CREWNECK SWEATER (UNTUCKED) + STRAIGHT LEG JEANS + LOAFERS
You get a really different look from your sweaters when you wear them untucked! It’s a simple variation but makes a big difference.
This is my favorite sweater. I also have the cardigan version, and I really want to add a solid color to my closet (on my Xmas list!)
I always get a ton of questions - and these sunnies are the Chimi 01 in green. I love them! I bought mine from Hampden a few years ago, but a lot of retailers carry them, would recommend doing a quick search for the best price!
Thank you for taking the time to read this post, I am so glad you are here. If you want to follow me on @ct_shopguide I’d love it! If you like what you’re reading, please consider sharing this newsletter. All products highlighted are chosen by me, and some may be affiliate links. Your support is appreciated!
So many cute looks!