A great summer packing list + outfits I'll be wearing on repeat all summer long
and thoughts on taking care of yourself now to be able to show up in life the way you want right now, but also, 20 years from now
Summer is funny for us because we are either doing SO MUCH, or SO LITTLE. It’s an oscillation between two extremes. Case in point: we started things off on the “so much” end of the spectrum this past week - spending several days on Nantucket, came home for one night, and are off again to the cape for the weekend. Then, we’re into Fourth of July and our big summer trek to Wisconsin for a few weeks. Once we’re back from that though, we’ll have some time to settle in and relax, and have no major plans for the tail end of July and into the first half of August. We’ll have long, lazy weekend days at home (as lazy as a weekend day can be with three children), lots of time at the pond, and the local park, and eating outdoor picnics whenever we can.
I think summer is always like that - the tension between wanting to do all the things that you can only do in the summertime, or that feel uniquely “summery,” and wanting to slow down and move at a slower pace because it is summer and there isn’t school or very many activities. Some way or another, we always find a way to balance it out - things are moving slower but we’re still finding ways to sneak in all the things we want to do!
We were on Nantucket to remember the life of my uncle who passed away earlier this year. A somber occasion, but it also felt celebratory. My aunt and cousin planned a very non-traditional series of memorial events for both family and friends, and it was truly a celebration of a very great life - it was remarkable to see so many people come together to remember and celebrate him in one of his favorite places.
There were so many people from so many different phases of his life - but very striking to me was how many people were there from his childhood. My aunt and uncle went to nursery school together (can you imagine!?!?!) so there were friends there that they literally spent a lifetime with.
Being in a group of people, many of whom were in their late 70s and early 80s, I couldn’t help but observe how different getting older looks for different people. It is a priviledge, yes, but it is harder on some people than others. A few months ago I shared a little bit about how I have experienced this firsthand, but it’s also something that I saw a lot of in this past week. It really made me think about how important it is to take care of our bodies and our selves. Not just for right now, but also for the long term.
I regularly get served content on the internet encouraging women like me (mid-30s, moms) to not feel guilty about taking time to take care of themselves - through exercise, eating healthy, prioritizing sleep, and a whole host of other activities that help us feel our best mentally, physically, and socially. It’s all about how taking that time for yourself is important because it makes you a better mom, better partner, better friend, etc right now. It positively impacts your happiness, patience, stress levels, etc. Personally, I feel basically zero guilt around taking the time to do this - the challenge is in finding the time on a regular basis. (Every once in awhile I get caught in another corner of the internet where it’s all about how motherhood is the ultimate exercise in martyrdom and it’s a mom’s duty to sacrifice all of her needs in order to give everything to her children - that’s always super cool - if you don’t know how I feel about that, you can get a little sense of it here!)
What I would love to see, and what I spent a lot of time thinking about over the past week, is more talk about how important taking care of yourself is not just to feel good today, but to feel good and live the life you want for as long as you possibly can. Doing things that are good for your mind, body and soul are not just for how you show up today - to the people in your life that care about you and that you care for, but also to be able to feel good and live the life you want for as long as you possibly can.
Obviously, we can’t control everything. A lot of health issues are luck of the draw, or we don’t know why they happen, but, there are a lot of things that we can do. And, personally, I want to do as much as I can to be physically and mentally able as long as possible. And of course, there is a balance to it all - because nothing about tomorrow is guarenteed, so I (personally) want to do this in a way that means I’m not sacrificing every joy or indulgence. But the goal in a long and healthy life, and taking care of ourselves now (if and as we are able) is the best thing we can do to turn the odds in our favor.
While not necessarily entirely connected to health, I do believe that getting dressed is a form of wellness and self-care. It’s one of the many ways that we might choose to take care of ourselves. So, on the getting dressed front, I packed carefully for our recent trips, because we had a slue of activities that I had to have appropriate outfits for, and also because car/ferry travel is always an exercise in fitting everything as best we can. You know how people joke - it’s a road trip, just throw it all in the car? Well, I would venture to guess that they have not taken a roadtrip in a mid-size SUV with 3 carseats, a pack-n-play, a stroller, beach toys, normal toys, and other beach/pool/kid paraphenalia. It’s a tight fit in there! My sister and I exchanged about a million texts back and forth deciding on what we would wear for each event, and I feel it paid off - I wore everything I packed, I ended up with outfits I really liked, and with a bag that I ended up repacking for a weekend on the cape, and I will surely re-use for another weekend this summer.
Some of the outfits that I packed are recent favorites that I will be repeating all summer long. I am highlighting everything I wore on-island on Instagram this week, I’d love for you to follow! Here are some of my other recent favorites. You’ll see me in these (or slight variations) all summer long, and I have thoughts on how you can recreate something like them at home.
A Happy Lightweight Jacket
This jacket is a heck of an etsy find (I love Etsy, btw), and most days right now are too warm to warrant a jacket, it’s great for cool nights or mornings. I’m planning to pair with with easy pants when we’re at the Lake in a few weeks (it’ll get a little chilly at night!), and also when we’re on the Cape towards the tail end of the summer. And, I can’t wait to wear it this fall with jeans and a t-shirt.
Crisp Button Down + Easy Shorts
I’m having a real moment with Alex Mill this summer. I’m just totally obsessed with their collection and have honestly had a hard time paring down the things I’ve ordered to stay within my budget. This shirt is WONDERFUL. I love green and I love stripes. The button placement on this shirt specifically is perfect. I’ve worn it as pictured, as a cover up on it’s own, with white jeans, and with linen pants. I’ll be wearing it with denim and trousers to work. I can’t wait to wear it layered over or tied around my waist with a white dress. Note that it has matching shorts, which I also liked, but ended up returning. They are a boxer short vibe, and that isn’t something that I will get much wear out of.
A Vest / Waistcoat Situation
I ADORE vests. Especially these high-neck ones that are whirling around everywhere right now. I love them because they are a special top that you can style for a date night or evening out, you can wear with shorts for a casual look, and they are equally office-appropriate. I wore this outfit into my office on a hot AF day. It was perfect. The linen is great for the heat, but it doesn’t wrinkle. The pants are part of an Amazon set which I typically NEVER DO. The quality reflects the price, but I like the vibe. I’m planning on wearing with a slip skirt on our next date night out!
Button Down With Jeans
I live for a button down (can you tell???). It is truly an essential part of my uniform and I am as comfortable wearing it for work as I am with my kids and around the house. I had been eyeing one of Donni’s options for awhile. I like that this has a real menswear vibe with the pink striping, and it is oversized, but the fabric is almost silky (but it is a cotton poplin), so it tucks in really well, and looks equally as good with trousers as it does untucked.
Slinky Pants + Fitted Tees + Oversized Sweaters
It’s a Donni Summer, baby. Hard to believe that I learned about this brand less than a year ago, but I am a devoted shopper now (ps: have paid for all of this on my own, just FYI!) I love the vibe, the styles, the fabrication, and the founder and brand story is super cool. I dipped my toe into their pants with the rib-knit kick flares which I am absolutely obsessed with. This is my second pair of pants, and I’m equally obsessed with these. Something about a silky pant, it’s just *a vibe.* I had a pair from H&M that I reached for ALL the time, and they were truly great, but they didn’t wash very well and got pilled on the inside. Look fine, but felt very weird on my legs everytime I wore them, so this was my upgrade! I wore with a simple tee one afternoon and ended up adding a sweater when it got chilly later in the evening.
All white
Monochrome is what I turn to when I don’t know what to wear, and in the summer, the monochrome of choice is all-white. This is a bold move given the fact that my kids prefer me to a towel/napkin at all times, but I accesorize with stain spray on my person at all times (Miss Molly’s is my favorite in case you’re wondering!)
Okay, that’s it for today. Thanks for reading! Remember that getting dressed is self-care. When you look good, you feel good. I hope this inspires you to create something from your own closet, or create an outfit you haven’t worn before but that you really love. You can shop all the pieces featured here.
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Your commentary on self care and longevity resonated with me so much, and I feel like it’s something I don’t hear talked about enough. It’s not about being vain— I want to be an active grandparent some day, I want to be able to travel, to hike, to move my body into my 70-80-90s. I want to be independent for as long as possible! And with that I will never understand the mother martyrs. So thankful to have an equal partner that is happy to let me have time for all kinds of self care.
Sitting here reading Elin hilderbrand wishing I was on Nantucket!! Love this packing list