Two recent motherhood moments that have made my heart explode with joy
Plus, recent outfits and a few things that are on my shopping radar
One of my hopes in writing this newsletter, in addition to waxing poetic about clothes and style and helping others find joy and ease in getting dressed, is to spread the gospel (cringing that I just selected that word, but I also sort of like it so I’m going to keep it) about the good parts of motherhood.
Hard? Yes. Impossible? Often. Exhausting? Obviously. Systematically messed up? I have my reps & senators on speed dial, trust me, I could go on and on about the system(s).
And also? Hilarious. Outrageously fun. Satisfying. Joyful. Light. Silly. Life and eye and heart-opening. I sometimes worry that with all the opportunities to find connection in hard moments, that there is not enough sharing of the good!
Especially in the slog of winter, and this has been a particularly long, cold, snowy winter, it can be hard to find moments where motherhood/parenthood feels light. There is simply no arguing about the fact that February is the worst (I will not discuss this, I treat this as fact and will not be accepting any conversation or commentary that suggests any alternative POVs). I’m ready for spring, people are ready for spring, fashion is showing me spring, but it is 0 degrees and a skating rink outside, and it’s going to be cold, icy, slushy or muddy for at least 6 more weeks. SOS.
Parenting, especially parenting young kids, is harder in the winter.
I remember a few years ago, around when life was starting to normalize again post-pandemic, we spent several weeks in the early spring with my in-laws in North Carolina. While we were there, the weather wasn’t even that great (for the area!), but it was in the high 50s, low 60s. Our kids ate breakfast on my in-laws screened in porch every morning. We put on only sweatshirts and went for walks outside. We didn’t have to wear boots to shuffle through snow/sleet/mud. At one point - my husband and I looked at each other and said, wow, does this feel nice. The winter routine — layers, coats, boots, hats, gloves, snowpants, figuring out what to do when it’s freezing, all the inside things increasing the risk of catching the latest germs, taking it all off when you get home in a cramped front door area — blegh.
Back to the point of this essay, which is to talk about the good stuff - (for a second there it seemed like I totally lost the plot!), not the bad stuff! But, you will hopefully see why it came as a surprise to me - a wonderful surprise! That I have experienced two incredible motherhood moments, milestones, we’ll say, during this time.
There are a million things that I do with my kids and love. Some of them are special occasion types of things - like getting to visit our favorite places and experience them through the eyes of kids- in ways I would never have known of or considered in my pre-kid life. Others are the tiny little things we do regularly - read board books, sing songs, play I spy and Simon says and “I’m thinking of” and go fish, color, do crafts, play catch. These things are wonderful. They make me laugh, my kids laugh, they are the things that build our routines, our life, our relationship as a family.
We do a lot to bring our kids into our lives - I was (and am!) determined to not stop doing the things we love to do just because we have kids. That said, there are changes that are impossible to avoid. We make adjustments to make sure our kids can participate in the the things we love, and, since we are a family, we make compromises to make sure we are doing things that are fun for all of us. We pick family-friendly restaurants. We navigate nap and rest times. We’ll go to a brewery and the playground across the street. We listen to music selected by myself or my husband, we sing every single lyric of the Wicked soundtrack, and we also listen to Bluey, Danny Go and Raffi (not picks that were on our playlists pre-kids, ya know?)
And so, it is rare, that I fully get to do something with my kids that is almost exactly the way I might do the thing if I were doing it just for myself.
UNTIL!
This is the first winter that my older two kids can both truly ski. Not just the kids zone, not just the magic carpet or rope tow. A lot of schlepping and crouching over and tears and work has gone in to helping them get to this point. But! At 6 and 4, my older two can gear up, ride the chairlift, and get down runs on their own. And MAN. It’s pretty great.
A few weeks ago, I went with them for their Sunday morning ski school, and after lessons we skiied together for nearly 3 hours. We rode the chairlift, skiied down together, took turns playing “leader” and getting to show everyone else the path and turns to take going down the mountain. We even went through the free style park and practiced “jumps.” We spent part of February vacation in Vermont, and after a morning of ski lessons, I met up with them and we went all over the mountain trying different chairlifts and trails.
That experience, of DOING, (not watching, coaching, taking to practice, playing a kid version of a sport) but actually DOING something that I love with them. It’s honestly hard to describe. It was a little bit of an out-of-body experience. Chatting in the chairlift about anything and everything and nothing at all. Waiting to catch up with each other as we went down the mountain. Looking at the trail map and signs and deciding which runs to go down.
I remember my parents bringing me into their lives when I was a kid, and it made me feel so special, so loved, so connected to them - I hope my kids felt it too - because I felt like I was literally pulsating with love and gratitude and awe for them! I’m so proud of them for learning how to do something that is not easy, and I’m so excited for the memories that I have to look forward to with them as we continue to ski together as a family.
If you’re not a skiier - don’t worry, because it’s not all about sports activities. My son is in first grade and becoming an enthusiastic reader, and as he has been reading more and more, I’ve started to realize that he is outgrowing a lot of our book collection. I’ve been hunting for options for him that he can either read on his own, or we can read together that are appropriately challenging and also age-appropriate content. We found one of the books that was on my list when we were at a bookstore last weekend, and cracked it open after dinner that same night.
Sitting on the couch in our living room, with all of my kids (yes, even the 1.5 year old got in on the action for a little bit) sitting around me listening while I read a story - I MEAN. That was IT. (PS: if you’re new here, I’m a huge reader - I love and have always loved reading, and it has been an important part of my life for as long as I can remember). And then, just to top it all off, my son leaned over to me and said, “Mom, this is so cool because I’m imagining it all in my head while you read.” Can you even? I cannot.
And right now, the book is the crux of our current bedtime routine - after dinner and a little time to play, my kids have been eager to get into it, either on the couch or in their bedroom - we’re reading several chapters together each night, talking about it, wondering what will happen next, speculating about different scenes and asking questions about anything we’re wondering about. A true dream.
If you’re curious, we’re reading The Wild Robot. I had heard from a couple people that they had read Harry Potter with their kids, and while I can’t wait to do that, I think it’s a little too scary/mature for my 6-year-old that is pretty sensitive (and definitely too much for my 4-year-old with whom he shares a bedroom). One of my friends is the reading specialist at his elementary school, so I went directly to the expert for some advice, and this was her first recommendation! It’s a series, which is fun, plus, there is a movie, which we’ve talking about being able to see after we finish the book and see how the movie is different from the book and from what we’re picturing in our heads while we read!
If you have book recommendations that are good for first graders, tell me what I should put on our library list!!
On the clothes front, I am (should I even say it? I know we’re not supposed to talk about a no-hitter!) on the precipice of continuing my no-buy all the way through February. I suppose it’s mostly because it’s a weird time of year to shop — spring stuff coming out, but I won’t realistically wear any of it until well into April, a real mental block around buying winter things, and also, just a bit of trying to do a better job of reframing my mindset to be more focused on how much I have, and that it is enough. It probably won’t last forever, and I have still been cultivating a healthy wishlist, but focusing on wearing what I have and reminding myself over and over again that I have plenty of options and wonderful things that I love and love to wear in my closet has honestly been good for me.
I have a warm coat on my wishlist still, but haven’t quite found “the one.” I’m holding out hope that I will get a nice discount on this jacket (I’m writing this down because when winter coats get discounted as the seasons are changing I never want to buy them because the weather is changing, but then I kick myself for not buying them when I can get an amazing price and allot the savings in my budget to other items, plus, I really will be wearing warm coats into April, so maybe this is the year I break that pattern?) PS: LVR is running a promo off new styles with the code SHOPMY20.
I’m also on the hunt for some more office-friendly, but still casual pants. I have several work trips that will require a slightly dressier dress-code on the docket, and in general have been wishing for more pant options that aren’t jeans, but also don’t feel super corporate. In the summer, I have several linen and linen-blend trousers and pants that are the answer to this, but I have fewer choices on the cold-weather appropriate front. I really like these, and as soon as I saw these in the latest Doen launch I added them to my wishlist — just need them to become available! Also heard a good review of this pair from Banana Republic, so I will probably given them a try.
I did buy these flats, which are WONDERFUL, but they are too big for me & now my size is sold out, so I returned them. If you wear a size 9 - I would consider!!
And to take us home today, a few goodie outfits made of things I love and constantly wear on repeat…
I have a mild addiction to the La Ligne Marin (use my code CHRISTINAT10 for 10% off!) sweater, and I really do wear it all the time! I especially love the green — green is one of my favorite colors and I love to wear it - it’s a way that I bring color into my otherwise heavily-neutral wardrobe. Worn for: A day in the office. It was far too cold to be exposing my ankles to the elements, so I opted for these fun little socks (hard to see but these have cute little swiss-dots on them) which provided little-to-no warmth and really only served the purpose of being cute, but I liked how it looked! Also, my coat is an example of a great winter coat that is now heavily discounted - if you’re in the market, I highly recommend!
I often ask myself whether people will find my outfits super boring, because they are a permutation of many of the same things. And maybe it is boring, but it’s also real life - I love and wear my shit, that makes me happy, I feel great in what I’m wearing, and can live my actual life while I’m doing it! I’m not overthinking! If that is boring, I’m cool with it. So here, you can see another iteration of the Marin, and the same loafers. Worn For: a WFH Friday, a chaotic trip to Trader Joe’s at the end of the day with all 3 kiddos, and then out for a chaos dinner with friends & margaritas for the adults.
These satin pants are not necessarily a great choice when its freezing cold outside (they do very little to keep you warm), but I consider them all-year-round pants, and like adding a belt to change up the way they look and make a more formal-feeling outfit. Worn for: A day in my office where I had an important virtual presentation. Dressed so I could feel confident, focused and influential.
Worn for: A WFH day where comfort was the priority. This is not the Jenni Kayne sweater - it’s a look-alike from Minnie Yorker - a very cute online boutique run by my friend Rachel. The sweater is soft and comfy, and creates a more structured look which I really love. This style of sleeve does tend to bother me, especially when I am spending my day at a computer (I prefer to have the ability to roll up almost all of my sleeves!), so I don’t make a habit out of spending a lot on sleeves like this, but this is the perfect balance of loving the vibe, not spending a lot and supporting a small business!
Last one for this week is one that I will be repeating for sure!
Worn for: a Friday evening out with my friend
. We had big plans for a hotel getaway but kid sickness made us modify our plans. We still managed to make it to the live event at Lovestruck Books in Harvard Square (you definitely need to add the bookstore to your list if you’re local!) and out to dinner together afterward! I love this blazer so much, and surprisingly this was my first time wearing it as a shirt! It just has a great shape and feels very easy to style casually as well as for work.ICYMI
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I loved this! Fitz learned to ski this year and it’s truly one of the most rewarding things we’ve done as parents and such a joy to see him loving something we both love. He’s 5.5 and is now obsessed with all games, especially card games. I personally never enjoyed imaginative play which he is really good at so I feel like it’s finally my time to shine with his new found love of games. Also— not sure if these are too young but we have been reading all the captain underpants and dogman series and they are so funny we also lol reading them with him.
I love your content, and this post in particular made me excited to be a mom someday! Thank you for sharing the bright spots. I’m thinking about investing in the Aligne coat while it’s on sale… would you say it’s oversized? I think I’d be a UK 10, but the smallest size available is a UK 12 and I’m wondering if it would swallow me up! It’s so beautiful. Thanks for your help!