On gratitude, giving thanks, and shopping (smartly!)
Because multiple things can be true!!
Updated as of 12/2:
Happy (almost) Thanksgiving. I hope, if you are reading this, you are gearing up for a few days off, celebrating the holiday however you love to. Or maybe you’re coming to it after the holiday and you have already enjoyed your favorite foods with family and friends as well as a higher-than-normal-but-totally-necessary amount of couch time.
Holidays can wonderful, and they can also be hard. I feel both sides of the coin this year.
Like it or not, the sales are here! I loved this background into the history of Black Friday from my friend
(did you know the name comes from being in red & going into the black in a company’s ledger? I didn’t!). Given the fact that Thanksgiving is extra late this year, and the holiday season is short, (27 days this year vs 32 LY in 2023 - thanks, ), the sales are starting earlier than ever.Sale can cause overwhelm, result in purchases you normally wouldn’t make because you think you are “saving money,” can make you overspend, stressed out, or just plain crazy. They can also be a great way to save money on items that you would buy at full price, and that you need or want, or have waited to buy on sale for awhile.
I shared my tips on how to shop more intentionally and with a plan during all seasons, and especially sale season:
I make a list specific to Black Friday, otherwise it is SO EASY loose the plot. I look at my personal wishlist, what my kids need, what our home needs, how many pairs of socks with holes my husband is wearing, and Christmas gifts. Starting around October, I take stock of any big ticket things we might need, and can wait for, and put them on a list (baring my soul for you to see below). My clothing list is a selection of items from my ongoing wishlist that I’m always tinkering with. There are a few Christmas list items for my kids that I will try to cross off, (and we have a mid-December birthday) and then do the rest of our gift shopping locally + be ready for a last-minute change in direction (my son is notorious for coming up with a new request in the days before X-mas, HA!) We’re going away right after Christmas and everyone squeezed into their bathing suits at the end of summer so they’ll each need a new suit. Plus, we need NEW SHEETS (which I’m buying from Land’s End b/c Nancy Myers said so).
Because this is a newsletter about personal style, getting dressed, and shopping, I AM going to share sales, from places I actually shop/have things from (although I don’t have every single item I’m highlighting). Before we get into that, I wanted to share a reminder, from my own life, about what matters most in the holiday season (and every season).
I’m currently on the (hopefully!) tail end of the flu and all 3 of my kids had it as well. Late last week, my oldest mentioned he was feeling a little under the weather, but we didn’t think much of it as he barely complained. On Friday night, we thought he would have a good night sleep and we’d all feel good enough for a tailgate and college football game with friends.
Around 2 AM, I woke to the sound of our youngest crying. As soon as I picked her up I could feel she was very hot with fever. As I walked to her chair to comfort her, she started shaking, and at first I thought she was shaking from the chills. In about 2 seconds I realized it wasn’t the chills and that she was having a seizure. I put her on the floor of her room, lay down next to her, and yelled for my husband to call 911.
She had a febrile seizure, which is a not-unusual occurrence in kids, but not something we had ever experienced, and it was terrifying. Although I very quickly suspected that was what was happening, every possible terrible intrusive thought raced through my head while I comforted Willa, told her I loved her and everything was going to be okay, while she seized for several minutes and my husband told the 911 operator what was happening. Within 15 minutes we were in an ED room, after being assessed by EMTs, then paramedics, and a quick ambulance ride to our local hospital (thankful that we live where we do!).
I lay with her in an ED room through examinations, tests, medication administration, and waiting. My dad lives a few minutes away from the hospital and he came to check on us, and then went on to be at our house so Vinny could join us at the hospital (I am so very lucky to have a Dad who lives close by!)
Over and over again, I thought to myself how lucky we were. How this could have been worse (If you are the parent, caretaker or loved one of a child who has any sort of health condition, and experiences like this are familiar- I see you. You are brave and strong and I wish that I could somehow be able to take that health struggle away and make it disappear.) How grateful I was to see my dad through the ED room door and to have him come in and comfort me (And, with that overwhelming feeling of gratitude also comes the emotional cascade of grief and sadness that my mom, who suffers from dementia, can not do these kinds of things!) That thank goodness we live so close to a hospital (and have insurance and don’t have to think twice about pursuing this kind of medical care). That my kids are healthy (Febrile seizures are terrifying (I will never forget what that was like), but common in young kids, and rarely connected to a more serious health issue.) That my husband and I are healthy. For so many things.
And I don’t mean to be a total downer, but, as we enter a time of year that is full of pressure and commercialism to create perfect moments and purchase perfect gifts and experiences, it was a re-grounding in what matters most of all.
It’s not that shopping and holidays and experiences and gifts don’t matter — because they do, and that they can bring tremendous joy and happiness. Let me be clear that I love getting dressed and shopping and having a wishlist and talking about clothes and getting dressed. I believe that these things matter a lot — that how we dress ourselves and how we choose to go out into the world have a profound internal and external impact.
But maybe before you shop, and especially if you start to feel like you HAVE to shop, take a second to pause and just contextualize. If you start to feel that frenetic energy. That buzzing feeling of searching searching searching to find the perfect thing. That there is something, something at the end of those sale pages that might just be it that thing you’ve been searching for. Maybe that’s your sign to stop. Close your computer (or phone!!). Take a deep breath. There will be more sales. Clothes are amazing and getting dressed matters AND you probably don’t need it. If you do I’m sure you can get it another time (although if it’s one of a kind or vintage don’t come for me!)
And yeah, I’m going to share some sales that I think are actually good, and some specific pieces I either own or love. And yes, I’ll continue to publish gift guides. Because it can be both / and. Also because I get a lot of joy out of this. But, don’t mistake it for not having perspective, or not knowing what actually matters in the grand scheme of things.
The sales that I have perused or am personally tracking, by category (updated as of 12/2.) If you want to browse my full edit you can do that on ShopMy (it includes more items than are highlighted here & I’ll update over the weekend!).
Home
I don’t share much home stuff, but Roan Iris (fka Connected Goods) has an incredibly special collection of things to adorn and use in your home, and especially, the most beautiful highly functional things. It’s a great place to look for special gifts for hosts & hostesses, or people who love special little things in their homes.
Half Past Seven offers an incredible selection of home goods - I have and love this vase, something about the shape just makes it so special! And, they’re offering 20% off.
Material Kitchen is offering an extra 10% off sitewide sale with code EXTRA10 through December 2nd. I love this pitcher.
Clothing
Mille is one of my favorite places for special dresses as well as great jeans and tops. Offering 30% off the Fall Collection with code BLACKFRIDAY24. I’m pretty obsessed with this sweater dress. This top too.
Shopbop is offering 25% off a big selection of items (there are, of course, exclusions). I bought these jeans to try which have been on my list for awhile, as well as this bikini top and bottom to try for an upcoming trip in December.
J.Crew is offering up to 50% off almost everything. I will be wearing these pants (size down) all holiday season long. And these shoes are an actually wearable mule IMO. This is fun for something festive buy highly wearable.
Lake PJs - these PJs are truly so luxe and they are 25% off sitewide. I like to size up (because who wants tight pjs). They make nice kids ones as well, but they run quite small, and so I order several sizes up for my kiddos. I ordered myself this pair (long-short is my fave for winter), to replace a thread-bare pair I have from 5+ years ago!
Tuckernuck is offering up to 30% off with code MERRY. It is a very good and robust selection. If you are eyeing something at Shopbop and find that the item you want is excluded, I would check Tuckernuck! If you’re shopping for something festive to wear this season, their holiday shop is worth a visit. I have this fun party dress (I think it runs a little big). How incredible is this button down? And, of course, these amazing flats.
The La Ligne MerciGiving Sale includes a ton of pieces at discount. It does like most items are final sale, so be sure you know your size! This dress is lovely.
Pistola is offering 30% off sitewide. These are a great gentle-barrel leg that I wear all the time!
Le Set is offering 30% off sitewide - I’m very intrigued by these pants.
Reformation is 25% off sitewide. This is a great sweater. I’m considering this cardigan. And these are one of my favorite jeans.
AYR will offer 20% off for Black Friday. The High Hopes are amazing lounge-y but also dress-up-y pants that are also wonderful for pregnancy & postpartum! The Voila has been on my wishlist for awhile - love that they are one of the best prices for 95% silk composition!
Greatness Wins is offering up to 40% off sitewide. Their workout shorts are amazing.
And other stories is 30% off sitewide. If you’re shopping for a coat, this is a good place to look!
Negative is offering 15% off sitewide with code VIP2024. I’m ordering this underwear.
Donni is offering a rare 20% off!! Pop shirt & Rib Kick Flares!
Left on Friday is offering 30% off everything! Their swim is incredible!
Le Weekend is an incredible boutique with the most impeccable selection, and they’re offering 25% off everything for Cyber Monday. I love this tote! These earrings are so chic!
Accessories & Beauty & Misc.:
Aureum is offering 35% off sitewide. I’ve got my eye on this belt.
Margaux is offering 20% off all shoes. Love the Demi Flats!
Earlybird CBD is offering up to $300 off orders. A great time to stock up for yourself or gifts. I think a sample pack is a good place to start!
Eadem makes vegan & cruelty free skincare products that are inclusive, but formulated with people of color in mind. Their Lip Glosses are AMAZING. I was gifted the dark spot serum from the brand and have been using it daily - I really like it and have seen an improvement in some hyperpigmentation that I have!
InnBeauty has Black Friday and Cyber Monday (30% off!) deals going on. They make great moisturizer (I use everyday and most nights), serum (perfect for extra daytime moisture for us dry skin girlies), and highlighter.
Hanni is offering up to 50% off based on how much you spend. I love this brand so much!! I truly don’t think you can go wrong, but I will tell you that a new amazing use case for the shower balm was discovered this week while I’ve had a blazing fever and chest congestion, and took hot, steamy showers to warm up + clear congestion - being able to apply lotion IN the shower, and step immediately into a gigantic robe right from the shower was a gamechanger in preventing being freezing cold. And, their razor (plus the shave pillow) takes a little learning, but it provides a closer, longer-lasting shave than anything else I’ve ever tried.
Made by Rooni is offering 30% off sitewide - beautiful beaded necklaces!!
Sweed Beauty is offering 25% off sitewide. They make INCREDIBLE mascara! I love the Cloud Mascara and Lash Lift.
Lands End is offering 50% off nearly sitewide. A great stop for gifts, as well as for yourself. This waffle knit top is so cozy. Love this turtleneck. I’ve been wearing this sweater nonstop. Really love the look of this Cosmetic Case. These are the sheets, btw.
Nood, which makes amazing body tape/unconventional bras, is offering 20% off with code HOLIDAY20. If you spend over $100, you can get 30% off with code HOLIDAY30. These have become holy grail for me (coming from a girl who is typically team no bra-less!
Hope you have a happy thanksgiving holiday!
If you are looking for more inspiration —
A lot of items in my gift guides are discounted — have a look!
ICYMI:
Some pieces about shopping smart that you might like…
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Wishing Willa a speedy recovery ♥️! and such a great reminder to think about all the things to be thankful for...
I’m so sorry that happened to Willa (and you!) There is truly nothing scarier than medical emergencies with littles. It definitely puts things into perspective.
On another note I just got that Clara cardigan by Reformation and I love the fit but it’s not that nice of a cashmere (a bit scratchy!) I am eyeing the new cashmere cardis at Alex Mill.