Transitions are Hard
I'm headed back to work, reminding myself to relax a little, stay curious about the opportunities ahead, be confident that everything will work out, and remember that a great outfit can help a lot.
Somehow, someway, 5 months have passed since I had my baby and I am getting ready to go back to work (by the time you are reading this, I will have been back for a few days). It is truly remarkable how some days felt like they stretched before me, endlessly long and mundane. Back in June, five months felt like a luxurious amount of time. Now it feels like it went by in the blink of an eye.
I thought that this being my third baby, and my third time going back to work after parental leave, it would be easy and I would feel ready. Surprisingly, I feel the least ready this time around. Last week I was planning on giving the baby to my nanny for a couple of days so that I could do a few things for myself and around our house that I had been longing to do and just unable to find the time - and yet when the opportunity came, I just couldn’t. Even this morning, I just gave the baby to our nanny and I’m sitting upstairs in my son’s bedroom writing until they head out of the house, and I feel an ache in my chest thinking about being away from her for a whole day.
Because I have been through this several times before, I do know that I will be fine. She will be fine. She will be great! And in a few weeks, this will feel normal. Little by little, day by day, it will get incrementally easier, and we’ll figure it all out.
Transitions are just hard. Change is hard. I have to relinquish a little bit of control over my baby’s days. It will mean a shift in schedule for my daughter who has had our nanny to herself for the past couple of months, and will have an adjustment to her days. I have to get my brain back into working condition and get caught up on the things that have happened while I’ve been out. My husband and I will have to figure out how to make our household run with both of us working (I’m still completely unable to compute how we’ll be able to do that). It will be a lot. But, I know that we will figure it out and eventually it will feel normal!
I am very grateful for this extended period of time I’ve been able to have at home, super focused on our family. I’ve spent extra time with my big kids. We’ve spent so much time as a family. I’ve spent extra time with my parents. I’ve been free of the distractions that come with working full time. I want to remember to bring some of the presence that I have been able to practice forward, despite the fact that I know there will be many more sources of distraction. I will not get into the lack of support provided to families and parents in our society (not today, at least!), but I wish that everyone was able to take this kind of time off to welcome a new child into their family and sink into the recalibration that needs to happen when you grow your family.
I’ve also gotten into a nice routine of writing, which I am proud of, and I feel invigorated by. While writing this, I just checked and there are over 400 of you here. Wow. Thank you! My goal is to continue to publish at least one newsletter per week, most likely on Friday mornings. My “plan” (ha, should I even write it down?) is that I will continue to write most of these newsletters in my notes app on my phone when I go on walks. I’m hoping this will keep me walking and writing! If there are any things that are pressing on your mind that you would like me to write about, please leave a comment below!
Overall, this transition, like any, is day-by-day. If you’re going through it, I see you. There are so many resources out there that will tell you to spend weeks preparing for the transition back to work. I’ve done that, I did it with my first, and I did it with my second to the point where I let myself be convinced to come back to work earlier than I wanted to, to work on a project that ended up falling through. This time, I know that I will figure everything out as I go. The anticipation of going back to work is always harder than the actual return. One thing that motherhood has taught me is that the best laid plans are just that - plans. While I am a planner, I have become so much more relaxed in the past few years. I have this great Bill Murray quote taped above my desk (which is currently serving as a changing table since my daughter is still in our bedroom) that I read everyday:
“The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything: the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with your enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself.”
So, I am trusting the process. We will figure this out. I am going back to work curious about what opportunities might come my way, excited to learn new things and contribute to a changing and growing organization, and confident that the universe is on my side. Plus, I already know exactly what I’m wearing Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of this week (you can see the pics on my instagram), so I know my outfits will help give me the extra confidence I need.
If you are going back to work soon, newly back at work, or going through any kind of transition that is hard - I’m thinking of you (especially will be thinking of all the other moms out there when I’m pumping!) We will figure this out!
And, in honor of going back to work…what else but work wear.
Specifically, how I am planning to style some of the fall trends & pieces (covered earlier this season in part 1 and part 2) for work in the weeks and months to come. (On the topic of seasonal trends, do we need a little refresh on this for winter, now that it’s dark at 4pm?). These are (almost all!) nursing/pumping friendly, and for those of us who go into an office, who work a hybrid schedule, or who WFH but still like to be business-appropriate on Zoom.
Dark Denim
Regardless of your office dress code, I think dark denim is one of the easiest ways to wear denim in a work environment (unless of course, you are in a business formal office). It works in an office with no dress code, a smart casual office, a business casual office, to work from home, you name it. If you want to dip your toe into the barrel-leg jean trend, a pair of dark denim is a nice way to try the trend out in a piece you can wear at work and on the weekends (I just ordered this pair and have to say I really, really, really like them - I am surprised by how flattering I find them!)
More dark denim at every price point: $ (I took a tall in these for full-length - can wear with flats; I am 5’6” and the ankle length was too short) / $ / $$ /
Trousers
I love trousers. Specifically, those with a nice high waist, with an easy, straight or wide-leg. Paired with a simple tee, long-sleeve or knit, and a blazer if needed is my most-worn work uniform. Or, with a sweater over your shoulders (like in this 3rd look) to add layer/interest to trouser + button-down look. And, I love that you can wear trousers with sneakers on the weekend to get more wear out of them, but also have an elevated casual look. I have to say that this (inclusive!) pair from Reformation is really, really great.
Riding / Tall Boots
I always reach for tall boots with dresses in the wintertime - to wear with your favorite slip dress (or skirt), with a blazer on top to get extra wear out of those pieces (Look 1). But, that’s not the only way to wear them - lean into that British boarding school chic look by pairing them with leggings and an oversized blazer (Look 3). Wear a maxi skirt (Look 2; this could easily be swapped in for a slip skirt - I just ordered this one to try!) with them. Break out the skinny jeans you’ve been holding on to and tuck them into your boots (Look 4). If you need more boot inspo - I got you.
Western-Inspired Accessories
Any interesting accessory is a great way to bring your personality and your own personal style into your work uniform. If you have cowboy-inspired boots (or full on cowboy boots!), wear them with your trousers (Look 1) or simple slim-cut black pants (Look 2). Use a western belt to add an interesting pop to a neutral look (Look 3). Or, use it to ground a more colorful look (not my norm, but I love this!) with a neutral (Look 4).
If you’re looking for more fall-style inspiration, check out this post! And be sure to follow along on instagram, where I am sharing tons of daily outfit inspiration!
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