Long Live Sleepovers; this is your sign to plan one with your girlfriends
more time than a dinner out, less coordination than a full trip - an overnight girly getaway is just what the doctor ordered. Plus, going - out outfit inspiration for the season ahead!
One thing that I regularly miss desperately about being younger (my youth?? Is that what I’m going to call it now?) is the time spent with friends just hanging out & doing nothing. The peak of this experience was in college - when we did anything and everything with our friends — running to the grocery store, hitting the gym, watching trash TV, studying in the library, eating every single meal together, spending hours getting ready & trying on each others clothes, going to parties, even sleeping. But even my early 20s were marked by hours upon hours spent with friends - going out at night and then getting back together the next morning, diligently detailing every event from the night before over breakfast, melting into someones couch for the rest of the day, and then summoning the energy to do it all over again the next day.
This didn’t stop just because I had kids - it definitely started to taper away in my mid-to-later 20s — many of my friends were in various relationships, our jobs were more demanding, we nurtured more robust interests outside of just going out on the weekends and recovering all day long, or had other sorts of commitments and activities and friend groups that we were developing. And somehow, over these years, we went from spending nearly all of our time together to having to send out doodle polls to organize a dinner out every 3-4 months.
This sounds depressing. It’s not meant to be! I think it’s just a fact of life. My college girlfriends and I are still extremely close, but we also each have robust and full lives and many friendships outside of our group. Which is amazing. We’re all so grown up! We’ve each done exactly what we were supposed to do in life - all in exciting and unique and different ways.
But there are times when I am still very nostalgic for the hours spent getting ready together, for the episodes upon episodes of Friends and Gilmore Girls and Sex and the City that we watch, for the times when we knew every detail of what was going on in each other’s lives - from the most mundane to the most exciting. We didn’t know it when it’s was happening, but that was a luxury (or, that we’d consider it a luxury when we were “grown up!”)
It’s no secret that nurturing adult friendships can be very hard (if this is something you’re interested in, hopefully you are reading
!!) It sometimes feels impossible to find enough time with our friends. If the luxury when we were younger was something we didn’t fully appreciate, its not a luxury that we are seeking and trying to figure out.If you are yearning for more time with your friends, rather than continue to lament the lost time, I want to let you in on a little secret that is, quite honestly, life changing.
A big, amazing, elaborate trip is great. Even better if you can make it an annual thing - around the same time every year, so that people plan for & around it (my husband and his friends are so good about this, I think they are going on 7 or 8 years of their annual trip?). Dinners and nights out are important, and you shouldn’t stop trying to schedule those.
BUT. The work that goes into planning a trip — especially as we get older and our lives are full with work, family, community engagements, other friends and living in different locations — it’s a lot of work!! And, dinners, while also amazing and critical important, are also often not enough — they are cup-filling, but your proverbial cup can only be so filled so far in just a couple hours spent catching up over a meal & drinks.
ENTER… The sleepover.
Here’s the deal…
It’s one night. It can happen in the middle of the week (it can happen anytime, really!). You get ready together (the absolute best), have a long, lingering dinner (that starts early!), the night stretches before you - no one has to drive home, no one has to get up with kids in the middle of the night. Maybe you go straight to your hotel room after dinner and change into PJs and talk until you fall asleep. Maybe you take a gummy after dinner and hit the casino and then finish the night over a final round of martinis while laughing so hard you are definitely on the brink of peeing your pants (hypothetically, of course). Both/either are AMAZING.
Let me paint you a picture…(first, I’ll show you one)
Three of my college roommates and I met at a hotel on Thursday mid-afternoon. We finished up our workday from our adjoining rooms, and then headed to the hotel bar to enjoy a cocktail at 5PM on the dot. With french fries we didn’t have to share with anyone else and a martini with the most perfect blue-cheese stuffed olives that I finished while the drink was STILL COLD.
We went back to our room and got ready while chatting and listening to music. Got dressed and headed to dinner.
We had a great meal, topped off with another round of drinks, and instead of dessert we opted for an edible (we all stan Earlybird CBD, but this particular evening called for something a little stronger). We hit the casino floor (honestly we were a little lost here, the Thursday evening vibes at the casino were a little lackluster TBH). The edibles kicked in and we went to one of the bars (club, but we were the only people there). We had a drink, talked, laughed. Walked to Shake Shack for a nightcap (fries + mini milkshakes) and then went up to our rooms, got in our robes and talked until we passed out.
The next morning, we woke up, dragged our tired bodies to get coffees, hit the spa, had a late breakfast, and then got back in our robes and worked from bed while watching Gilmore Girls.
IT WAS GLORIOUS. We got to just spend time together. We got caught up on the various details of our lives that never make the headlines when we see each other every couple of months, or that you might miss in a larger group, but are important and essential. We tried each others beauty products (okay, I brought a lot of beauty products to share with everyone). We already can’t wait to plan our next one, and we’re all committed to making this happening regularly!
This is your sign to do this!!! Some tips to make this work:
Embrace a weeknight. Weekends are hard. They fill up fast. You might need a weekend, or more of a week for a full trip, but for an overnight - you don’t. It’s much easier to step out of your normal routine on a weeknight! We picked a Thursday and most of us were able to either take Friday morning, or all of Friday off. I did one this summer where we didn’t take any time off - just both went to work the next morning!
It’t not about where you stay. It can be in a luxurious hotel, or, it can be in a budget hotel, an airbnb, a room booked using the best deal you can find on Hotel Tonight, or even at one of your houses. The point is being together!
Wherever you stay, I recommend making sure there is a comfortable robe lounge situation. Maybe it comes from the hotel, maybe you bring it with you.
Before you leave, plan your next one, or make a plan to plan (everyone’s favorite, haha) - it’s important to have these things to look forward too, AND, in general, planning events is way easier in person!
Take the opportunity, if you’re going out for a meal or a drink, to wear something fun. Get ready. Get DRESSED — which doesn’t meant that it has to be fancy, but just something that you feel great in and that marks the event as something special. Try it, I bet you’ll like it!
Absolutely cannot swing an overnight? Think about trying to take a day off (or even a half day) and do something relaxing during the week in the daytime — go to a museum, a big walk, out for lunch, shopping, run errands - it doesn’t have to be a huge thing, it’s really just about getting the luxury of spending extra time together just being together.
Here’s the inspo for what to wear — for a girls night, for a date, for a quick drink, for whatever reason you might have to get a little dressed up and feel freakin’ great.
This is a pick-how-you-feel-best outfit. If the top is too sheer, try something like this (I specifically like the button placement for wearing with a skirt!). If you don’t have a denim skirt, try black, or anything you have!
When you text the group chat what they’re wearing, (if we are anywhere near the same generation), you’re gonna get at least one, “jeans and a going out top” response. While classic, there is actually a ton of variety here (and this really only scratches the tiniest bit of the surface of options. I particularly like the option of a vest or gilet, especially if that’s something you sometimes wear to work (I really love this!) - making it work extra hard. But also - this could be your favorite top paired with your favorite jeans. Wear your favorite cardigan with just a couple buttons. Wear a button down (this is one of my favorites) with some extra buttons undone and just a little bit of it tucked in.
I am, in general, more of a gold jewelry girlie, but the resurgence of silver has caught my eye and I’m very into it. I wear my silver flats ALL THE TIME - they make me so happy, and now I’m thinking about earrings. At under $50, these are a great toe-dipper! But also, we don’t sleep on etsy — these (under $20) or these ($30).
One of my favorite clothing items is a mini dress with long sleeves (DROOLING). They are a weakness for me. Honestly, I don’t have enough opportunities to wear them, but all my pieces in this category are absolute favorites that I actively seek out opportunities to wear — especially on nights out because mini can be tough to make work when I’m with my kids. But this just screams FUN. Or, maybe you’re more into a shift-style - still so fun to rock something mini for a girls night!
This is a great formula, and there are a lot of ways to take it. I love the idea of a sheer top that is cute modestly as your “small” shirt, just as much as I love this off the shoulder number. Pair with your favorite shoes — heels, flats, boots, all are great options! These pants are a great option if you are looking for something silky, but non-wrinkly!
Okay team, this is our last one. Something to take you from the office, to a night out. First off, you could totally wear this full outfit for the night out, but, if you wanted to change things up, keep your top & blazer, and add a mini-skirt (or even a long slip skirt!) and belt that blazer around the waist! Same pieces, totally different vibe!
Hope this inspires you in your getting dressed endeavors AND inspires you to find time to schedule a girls sleepover something soon!
Tell me in the comments - what other fun things do you do to make sure you get the luxury of time with friends??
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love this idea. and omg yes to the mini dress with long sleeves - weirdly so hard to find!
Ok I wish I was on this trip!! Planning one of these now