fighting hard against the grind
and trying to focus on the good stuff (including fashion)!
If you want to jump straight to the shopping, you can do that here.
I am deep in a phase of life right now where I am in a bit of a rage against society and corporate culture as a working (outside the home) parent of small kids. These phases often come and go for me, but this one (right now at least), feels like its persisted for a while. I am constantly tired thinking about how we are going to keep doing what we are doing. And immensely frustrated and angry (it really is actually a rage) about the fact that there are so many ripe opportunities out there to make life easier for parents and kids, particularly for parents who also work and they just aren’t happening. Name two more siloed constructs than work/corporate culture and raising kids…I’LL WAIT!
Nothing particularly crazy has happened, and my kids are great. Just your average existential crisis brought on by a very extended busy time at work and a constant feeling like I can’t get it all right. Just me?
I am frustrated that the only path to more success at work is via as much or more time than I am already putting in. At the same time, I’m not particularly inspired by or excited about what the next step might look like. And, of course, I already feel like my time with my kids is not nearly enough.
Even though I work from home most days, and don’t have a commute, our time is squeezed! On weekdays, it seems as though we are constantly hurtling towards the next event in the day - making sure everyone eats breakfast and the kitchen is cleaned, or making sure we make dinner, eat, get a little time to play, get ready for bed, get to sleep on time. Weekends fly by, and I’m tired on the weekends and feel like there is no happy medium between giving my kids the time they need and want (and I want too) and having enough time for some rest. I need an adult weekend and a weekend with my kids in between work weeks.
And this is all when my kids are little! I know it’s not a helpful or useful exercise, but my mind likes to wander and think about what will happen a couple years down the line when my son is well into elementary school and has after-school activities that he asks to do? How will we fit those in? Will I have time to make it to games with my work schedule? Like I said, not a helpful exercise, but I have a hard time stopping myself from going there.
And, on top of getting enough time with my kids, getting through all my work and figuring out what my career goals are right now, trying to have quality time with my husband (collapsing on our couch doesn’t count!), I’m worried about the upcoming elections, about so many different things happening in our country. I’m still trying to find my way of making a positive impact and contributing to driving the positive change that is needed in so many different areas of our lives.
One positive change I have made (I am trying to focus more on the good things, even in the midst of a lot of challenging moments), is blocking my work calendar early on Wednesdays. Our nanny leaves at 4PM on that day, and I block my work calendar at 3:30 every day on Wednesdays so have 30 minutes to wrap up work, send out final emails and then go do something fun with my kids. Blocking the time off makes the transition from work to family a little smoother, and I have found that knowing and planning around the fact that the time is “kid” time makes me fully focus. I also like that we have time to actually do something fun together - not just the scramble from 5-5:30 when the kids desperately want to play and my husband and I desperately want to make sure we are ready to have dinner together the second the youngest starts saying “Addie hungry,” and scrounging around the snack cabinet.
We’ve been doing a lot of “art projects” - ie: laying down big pieces of paper and coloring or painting on the floor of our kitchen. Last week we walked to our town library which has a great kid’s section and read a million books, played with the toys they have available, and ran on the ramps that are like crack for kids. This week, we carved & decorated pumpkins (it was exhausting, but my kids are so proud of their jack-o-lantern!) Sometime after Halloween and before Thanksgiving I think we will make a Turkey of some kind and make a list of things that we are thankful for. Even writing this down makes me feel a little bit better - It’s not a losing battle, it can just be really tricky to have the right perspective and remember all the good things when I am spread very thin!
I’m not even sure what my point is in writing all of this down, but I know I am always hyper-aware of whether or not I will have enough time to do all the things that I have to do, plus the things I want to do heading into the end-of-year period. If you are in it right now, know that I am too! Things are picking up at work before holiday time-off, there are a lot of family and friend commitments going on, and of course, there is a lot to do to prepare for all the holidays we have in front of us over the next few months. I am trying to remind myself that every day is not going to be perfect but I ALWAYS feel better when I make time to do something fun with my kids that includes no distractions. There aren’t that many other things I feel that way about! I feel the best when we either get out of our house or we do something creative together. I also sometimes need to just make extra time for work, even though it sucks, I cannot deal with the feeling of being behind - so sometimes it means a couple of nights a week of uninterrupted work time after my kids go to bed. It doesn’t mean I won’t stop my raging frustration over the GRIND that is being in the corporate world while also parenting young children, but I will accept that I have to work within the construct to make my life better, even while also working to break down or improve the construct. So, I think my intention is to focus on consciously making time for little things with my kiddos - things that recharge me and delight them! Even if I am working at night - I will feel good about the time with my kids.
That, and, fantasy shopping for some fun things that will get me through the impending winter season! I find getting dressed this time of the year to be a lot of fun! I have a deep passion for sweaters and coats. We’re not yet in the deep, deep part of winter where we are just longing for the warmer weather - right now it feels fresh and like discovering new things you when you pull out sweaters and other warm weather clothes!
And there is basically nothing better in my book than getting ready for a special occasion - everything from picking out what you are going to wear, what you’ll pair it with, down to the actual act of getting ready the day or night-of. I am planning on pulling together some ideas for Thanksgiving, Holiday parties and even my version of a “gift guide.” But for now, just some late fall and early winter things that I really love and am thinking about adding to my closet!
1: Turtleneck Sweater / 2: Freya Hat / 3: Nation LTD Smocked T / 4: La Double J Sweater / 5: Nation LTD Blouse / 6: Penny Loafers / 7: Velvet Reversible Jacket / 8: Ulla Johnson Ren Blouse / 9: Cableknit Sweater Dress / 10: Cashmere Turtleneck / 11: Boucle Sweater / 12: Sherpa Shirt Jacket / 13: Wrap sweater top / 14: Lace Collared Sweatshirt / 15: Wide-Leg Stretch Pant / 16: Smocked Black Top / 17: Mille Montemarte Dress / 18: Pixie Market Pants / 19: Green Ribbed Mockneck Sweater / 20: M.Gemi Ballet Flats / 21: Spiritual Gangster Sweatshirt
1: Turtleneck Sweater: Every stripe addict needs a striped turtleneck, right?
2: Freya Hat: A great accessory for the cold weather, and a way to hide a bad hair day (or the last couple days before your next shampoo!)
4: La Double J Sweater: This is a major splurge of a sweater, and I’m not sure even I can justify it, but man, I love it!
5: Nation LTD Blouse: This is a closet staple. I love a great black top to wear out for a date night, and I think this could be worn to the
6: Penny Loafers: They’re back this year and I’m obsessed! I like that the subtle lug sole gets a little more wear out of the loafers - they won’t get ruined if the ground is a little damp or there is a little teeny bit of slush on the ground! And they look great with socks so you can protect your ankles when it gets really cold!
7: Velvet Reversible Jacket: This jacket is so popular right now, and for good reason! I love the color, the quilting and fact that its reversible! If you’re in New England, or a part of the country with winter, it probably won’t get you through the full year, but it’ll keep you warm for awhile, and you can go back to it again in the spring!
8: Ulla Johnson Ren Blouse: Love the shape and pattern of this top, so fun and interesting!
9: Cableknit Sweater Dress: Sweater dress season is upon us and there are still some days and nights when you can wear them without tights!
10: Cashmere Turtleneck: Always room for a great navy sweater in your collection.
11: Boucle Sweater: Cozy sweater, come join my sweater collection!
12: Sherpa Shirt Jacket: Put together and cozy - the ideal characteristics of an addition to your winter closet!
13: Wrap sweater top: The perfect top for special occasions when the weather gets chilly. Wear with jeans, with trousers, a slip skirt…the list goes on.
14: Lace Collared Sweatshirt: I love that this feels just a little bit special, but is also comfortable and a piece you would reach for again and again.
15: Wide-Leg Stretch Pant: If you’re going into the office, this is the perfect pair of pants to wear with every sweater or shirt you have.
16: Smocked Black Top: Another interesting black top, I know, but I’m serious when I say these get a lot of wear in my closet. My go-to night out outfit is a top like this with jeans or black pants. It always makes me feel great!
17: Mille Montemarte Dress: I love Mille dresses always, and this pattern is so beautiful for fall and winter. It would actually be a great Thanksgiving dress, or outfit for family photos!
18: Pixie Market Pants: I am still a huge trouser fan and I love the silhouette and crop of this pair. They look comfortable enough for repeated weekend wear, and put-together enough for a day in the office or even a night out!
19: Green Ribbed Mockneck Sweater: Love a bright emerald green right now — feels like a staple but also a special color!
20: M.Gemi Ballet Flats: I love ballet flats so much, but I don’t get a ton of wear out of them because the time when I can wear them in New England is fleeting! When it’s warm, I typically reach for sandals and as soon as it gets colder I am ready for my ankles to be covered. And, I wear sneakers a lot! But, I love the look of this pair. M.Gemi is having their friends and family sale starting 11/2, so you can get them 20% off!
21: Spiritual Gangster Sweatshirt: A fresh sweatshirt for those casual work-from-home days this season.