Family Meals as a practice

Some tips I've learned from experts, what is working for my family right now, and some simple, easy summer styles that I am loving!

I have a lot of memories of sitting down to dinners with my family when I was growing up. I can’t remember exactly if we had a set routine, but at least once a week, we had a full meal together. My Dad traveled for work when I was younger, so my mom, sister and I would eat a lot of our meals together when he was traveling. This was a time to connect as a family, talk, learn manners (my dad is a stickler for table manners, as were my paternal grandparents!), and eat a really delicious meal. We would also frequently go out to restaurants as a family - sometimes favorite spots and sometimes new spots - it’s definitely influenced my love for food, restaurants, and going out to eat.

As an adult, weekend meals with friends have always been a favorite thing to do - both going out for a delicious meal and drinks, or planning an elaborate meal to be cooked at home - I love sitting down with loved ones to enjoy food and hang out! Pre-kids, we regularly planned our weekends around elaborate meals and recipes we wanted to try.

Going out to dinner with friends or my husband is still one of my favorite things to do. We like to host people at our home, and go to friends houses for meals - though the menus tend to be a little simpler these days. And even though the vibe is totally different, I like to go out to dinner with my kids, and show them how much fun it can be to go out to a restaurant as a family.

Feeding people, and kids, is not just something that happens effortlessly - it takes a lot of thought, coordination, prep and WORK. And, something I’ve learned as an adult, and especially as a parent - it takes a lot of practice!

The topic of meals almost always comes up when I’m with friends. This is true for parents and non-parents — we’re all in the thick of adulthood and work and life and trying to be healthy and make time for all the things we want to be able to do and we’re curious about how others are doing it! We share ideas and inspiration for recipes that we are loving, easy meals we throw together on repeat, tips we have for keeping our sanity — all the things!

As a parent specifically, an obsession with your child’s feeding habits is cultivated from day 1 - actually, even prior to day 1 — baby registries have whole sections dedicated to feeding needs! And then, right when you start to maybe/sort-of/kind-of have some kind of routine down, you introduce solids, and you have to figure things out all over again. And then you will find yourself with a kid with actual preferences and opinions about what they eat, and you have to pack meals or snacks for daycare or preschool programs or activities, or whatever. So, food and meals and what the heck is being served for dinner tonight is perennially top-of-mind!

Over the past year and a half or so, my husband and I have made a huge effort to eat a meal as a family (with our kids) every day. This hasn’t always been easy - especially in the first year of my son and daughter’s lives - their eating schedules were pretty different than ours - we kind of give ourselves a pass on the baby year, and don’t worry about incorporating a child into the “family meal” routine until they are a little older. We are by no means experts, but we have managed to make this work for us and have done a pretty good job of sticking to our goal. There is a ton of research out there that shows that kids benefit from having family meals. So I pretty much accept as a truth that this is worth doing, but I have also observed it in my own kids - the more we sit down for meals together, the easier it gets. Many nights are absolute chaos, but I’ve also watched first my son and now my daughter ask to be excused from the table, clear their own plate, talk about their day, serve themselves portions from a “family-style” set up, and actually sit for an extended period of time. It’s all rooted in the idea of practice. Practice makes “perfect,” as the saying goes - but also, practice brings ease. And practice really encompasses every aspect of the meal — from the planning, shopping, prepping, cooking, serving, eating/experience and cleanup - Each component - every step of what goes into having a meal as a family is a practice in and of itself.

One personal benefit from this is that I have become much more relaxed about my kids eating habits. I obsess way less about what my kids eat (of course I pay attention, but I’m not thinking about it constantly). We don’t prepare different meals for the kids and if they don’t eat anything, I (usually! like I said, it’s a practice) don’t nag or cajole or negotiate with them for a bite or two.

As a family/household, we cook much more than we used to (as opposed to ordering takeout), but are also more efficient at the cooking we do. We rarely throw our hands up and order in (without planning to do so ahead of time), waste way less food and are actually sticking to a grocery + food budget. We have put a couple useful practices into place to get to where we are today, and picked up some tips and tricks along the way, so I thought I would share some of the things I’ve learned, some of what we do to manage this, and some of my favorite resources that I’ve turned to for information or inspiration!

From an overall, big-picture, and mindset perspective, there are a couple things that have really helped us:

• The first is embracing the idea that it’s my (our) job to offer the food, and it’s my children’s job to eat it. In other words, I cannot force them to eat things (and they WILL eat when they are hungry). This is a mentality that is easier said than done - it certainly takes practice, but it takes the pressure off me as a parent, it improves our mealtime experience, and it is evidence-based / research-backed that this approach helps kids develop healthier eating habits and relationships with food in the long-run. I do plan our family meals around things I can realistically expect my kids to eat (eg: I’m not serving a 4-star spice-level meal at home), and they also always get to pick a fruit to have with their dinner. But, I’m also not serving french fries and grilled cheese 7 nights a week. Nor are we grabbing additional things from the fridge after we sit down at the table because someone doesn’t like something.

• The second thing is that repetition, consistency, & simplicity are good things. They make it easier to prepare meals and get through the week, they make it easier to shop, and they make it more likely that my kids will try something if its in front of them multiple times. I am someone who wants to serve an elaborate, beautiful, unique meal every night — but that is just totally unrealistic and incompatible with having two working parents and two small kids.

• The third is that the meal should be fun. I will engage in potty humor and silly jokes and singing songs at the table - I’m not focused on perfect behavior - there is plenty of time to learn that. When we sit down, even if we were all at each others throats in the moments before sitting down to eat, we smile. We talk about our day. We tell funny stories. We try to make it fun, and an actual moment to connect as a family!

Meal Planning / Shopping:

• There is no right way to do things here, but the “routine” so to speak that works for us is that my husband typically takes our kids with him to the grocery store on the weekends. Before they go, we sketch out a rough “meal plan” for the week (we put it in a note in Google Keep!), and then I make sure any special ingredients for any of the meals that we have planned are added to our shopping list (also in Keep). Outside of new recipes, our shopping list is pretty consistent week-over-week, so we re-use our list in Keep & the kids are able to pick out snacks + anything special they want while at the grocery store.

• I sketch out meals by looking at anything we have left in the fridge, anything I’ve wanted to try (more on inspiration below!), what’s on the calendar for the week, and whatever our current “staples” are. I mentioned before that embracing repetition has made all of this a lot easier, so typically we are making 1-2 things that we made the week before or make every week.

• If we need additional ingredients during the week (we usually do, but it’s usually just a couple of things + a fruit refresh b/c my children are fruit monsters), my husband and I divide and conquer grocery store runs based on our schedules, or sometimes our nanny will help and run an errand for us.

Recipes we repeat:

• Almost every week we have a giant salad night - we call it garbage salad - basically a protein (usually chicken) + greens + whatever veggies we have available + crouton/nut/cheese/olive + homemade dressing. I love making salads, and not to brag, but I am weirdly talented at making good ones, so I’m usually not following a recipe but just pulling together from what we have on hand. I give my kids the option to have their salad “deconstructed” - so they can just have veggies on their plate, or the full salad. Everyone typically dresses their own serving b/c my son doesn’t really like salad dressing right now!

• Now that the weather has warmed up, we are using the grill a ton, and that changes some of our go-to meals. Actually, our “go-to” meals are seasonal. Right now we are doing a ton of grilled chicken or steak + a couple kinds of grilled veggies and sometimes rice or rice pilaf (our grill has a burner, so we can still make everything outside). My son (who is the pickier of the two) has been loving asparagus and corn, so we do a lot of that, but also grilled onions, zucchini, peppers, etc.

• In the winter, we eat steamed dumplings (often from Trader Joes) + broccoli + cucumber & tomato salad with rice vinegar at least once a week. We also often swap out the steamed dumplings for broiled/baked salmon on a regular basis.

• Tempura Crunch Salmon - we are addicted to this - more on

  Caroline Chambers
  below!

• Soup + open-face sandwich. We have a couple grocery stores around us with great pre-made soups, and it’s an easy way to get an incredibly easy dinner together, especially when the weather is cooler.

• Pasta + pesto + veggie - my kids love pesto on their pasta, and we’ll often add a veggie of some kind to the mix to make it a “complete” meal

• Lettuce wraps - with ground turkey, chicken or pork, + butter lettuce or romaine lettuce + rice (usually frozen from Trader Joes), + whatever veggies we have (shredded carrots, cucumbers, thinly sliced lettuce, avocado, etc.) + either soy sauce or dumpling dipping sauce. Can also easily make this into more of a bowl situation if you prefer!

• Snacky Dinner - My kids LOVE snacky dinner. Basically a bunch of small things together to make a meal. I will typically let them choose 2 things and I choose 2 things, and then we assemble it together in a muffin tin with silicone cupcake liners. For example - there might be hummus or ranch & veggies, goldfish, toast, fruit of some kind, pepperoni or other deli meat, olives, cheese, pickles, chickpeas or white beans, etc. etc. My husband and I will typically enjoy with a cheese & cracker of our choice! Basically a family-friendly charcuterie board, served in a muffin tin!

Recipe Inspiration & Other Resources:

• If you are not already following/subscribing to

  Caroline Chambers
  , stop what you’re doing and SIGN UP RIGHT NOW. Caroline writes a weekly newsletter in which she shares a COMPLETE MEAL recipe each week. Her meals are simple (always in less than 60 minutes, many in much less than that), she provides a substitute for every ingredient, and delicious. Some of my favorites of hers (that have been on rotation for us) — Salmon Tempura Crunch (a weekly staple), Sesame ginger steak, crispy cauliflower bowls, Thai chicken chop, and lemony-chicken orzo soup (I made this weekly this winter and it is AMAZING)

• A Lot of You Have Asked
  writes about influencers and internet culture, but she also shares her weekly meal plans. Such a simple thing to share but I LOVE to see what other people are making and eating, and I’ve loved seeing this from her. Also she has a lot of good Costco insight & tips!

• Jenny Rosenstrach
  has incredible recipes and I love her cookbooks - a great source of inspiration, especially for vegetarian options. We particularly love her salmon salad.

• Traditions are fun! I know so many people who have a theme to different nights of the week, and I love that so much! We have slowly been implementing pizza Fridays, and now that the weather is warming up, we’ve been making pizza on our Ooni. In the winter, we have a pizza place right around the corner that we pick up from. We also enjoy Sunday dinner with my parents and sister every week, which has been a great tradition. My kids love to go to their grandparents house, we have guaranteed family time every week, and my dad cooks (so we get a break!). I know not everyone lives close enough to family to do this but I also love the idea of doing this with friends or neighbors!

Hope you find something useful here, and I would love to hear from you - whether you are cooking for just yourself, roommates, friends, little kids or bigger kids!

Shifting to clothes, I have been thinking a lot about summer style and what I will be wearing this summer. My perspective is a little unique since I am about to enter the early postpartum days. My body will be different, changing, and a little unknown. But I’ll also want to wear things that make me feel good and like myself as much as possible. And I’ll be nursing a baby, plus chasing around two other kids, so I need things that are practical, wash well and not too fussy.

In my browsing, I’ve seen so many incredible simple, chic and classic styles that I have screen-shotted/pinned/saved. There is so much out there this season that is practical and beautiful.

So, without further ado, for your shopping and style inspiration - the easy summer styles that I am obsessed with right now!

1: Embroidered Shirt / 2: New Balance Sneakers / 3: White Puff Sleeve Blouse / 4: Linen Shorts / 5: Rory Dress / 6: Open Collar Sweater / 7: Striped T-Shirt / 8: Striped Dress / 9: Tracy Dress / 10: Scalloped Button-down Dress / 11: Midi Skirt / 12: Bucket Crochet Bag / 13: Embroidered Top / 14: Wedge Sandals / 15: Top & Shorts / 16: Ischia Dress / 17: Knit Sweater and Short / 18: Linen Pleated Trousers / 19: White Denim / 20: Ruffle Sandals / 21: Black Strappy Sandals / 22: Julie Dress / 23: Bikini top & High-waisted Bottom / 24: Hat / 25: Alvin Dress / 26: Navy Strapless Dress / 27: Linen Jumpsuit / 28: Sandals / 29: Linen Top and Shorts

1: Embroidered Shirt - I have been seeing so many button-up white shirts with special details and I am loving this one especially (at a great price point!) Also love this eyelet J.Crew one.

2: New Balance Sneakers - the best sneakers that work with everything and keep you comfortable no matter what you are up to!

3: White Puff Sleeve Blouse - Can’t get enough white blouses this season! This one too!

4: Linen Shorts - Man, shorts in the summer are so hard to find! The perfect combination of long-enough, enough thigh space & versatile enough to wear in a variety of different ways. These are check, check, check. I also love the look (and price point) of this pair!

5: Rory Dress - So into shirt dresses this season and this one is a great one!

6: Open Collar Sweater - Can’t say no to stripe, and this would work over a dress, with pants, shorts, midi skirts, pretty much everything!

7: Striped T-Shirt - A great simple relaxed t-shirt that you will wear with everything!

8: Striped Dress - Love this easy button-up striped dress! A wear every single week type of style!

9: Tracy Dress - Blue and white forever, and this is easy and gorgeous!

10: Scalloped Buttondown Dress - Maybe not the most practical dress in the world, but definitely classic and chic and major Sophia Richie vibes!

11: Midi Skirt - I love a midi skirt for summer because you can dress it up or down — down with a simple t, and up with a dressier tank.

12: Bucket Crochet Bag - perfect drop everything in it bag for summer!

13: Embroidered Top - Love this easy and beautiful top to wear with shorts or pants or skirts.

14: Wedge Sandals - Comfy, strappy sandals!

15: Top & Shorts Set - a comfortable and perfect-for-summer set!

16: Ischia Dress - A super wearable style by Doen that I love!

17: Knit Sweater and Short - I am on the set bandwagon, especially comfortable ones like this where you can wear together and feel great in what is basically glorified sweats, but also separately. I could see these shorts looking so cute with an embroidered, or even classic white button up!

18: Linen Pleated Trousers - On the search for the perfect pair of high-waisted, linen trousers for the summer to wear with EVERYTHING, and I love this pair! This is another great looking pair in some more colorways, these too!

19: White Denim - the only jeans I want to wear in the summer are white (specifically, ecru/off-white) jeans, and I LOVE this easy pair. Not too tight is key to wear in the heat! These look great too!

20: Ruffle Sandals: I have several pairs of Larroude sandals on my wishlist, and these are up at the top. This is definitely my summer of flat sandals, and I love that these feel a little special, but also so comfortable!

21: Black Strappy Sandals - I’m also on the hunt for a pair of black, barely there sandals, and I love these soo much!

22: Julie Dress - Love the color, pattern and shape of this - so wearable and sweet!

23: Bikini top & High-waisted Bottom: Not sure I will be in my bikini era this summer (just a personal preference), but love this one!

24: Hat - It’s sun-protection season baby, and having some great hats that you love is super important!

25: Alvin Dress - This might be my favorite dress I’ve seen to date this season!

26: Navy Strapless Dress - This is such a great summer dress - dress is up or down!

27: Linen Jumpsuit: I freaking love a jumpsuit and this one is so chic!

28: Sandals - Super into the big-buckle Birkenstocks this season. Look great with so many different outfits, plus super comfortable if you are walking a long distance!

29: Linen Top and Shorts - another awesome set for the season. This would also make a great cover-up!