10 Things that make my life easier postpartum
and a little check in!
The early postpartum period goes a little something like this: wakeup, change a diaper, feed a baby, let the baby fall asleep on your body, stare in awe at the tiny human, realize you are nap trapped and wish you could put the baby down to sleep, wonder what will happen if you put the baby down, move to wiggle your arm to make sure it doesn’t fall asleep, baby’s eye’s open, never mind, just stay where you are, wakeup, change a diaper, feed a baby, put the baby down, no, they’re awake, pick the baby up, soothe the baby, put the baby down, are they asleep?, walk to the bathroom to brush your teeth and hair, wonder - are they asleep — creep back to check on them, they’re asleep, change into clean clothes, sit down, stare at baby lying in bassinet and wish that you were hoping the baby while it sleeps, realize you’re starving, get something to eat, chug coffee, check on baby - oh sh*it they’re awake, wakeup, change a diaper, feed a baby. And it goes on. It’s a bit of a blur and it can be a bit mundane. Don’t get me wrong - filled with happiness and joy and awe at this tiny human that is now a part of your family - but still a bit mundane. And you are tired! SO TIRED!
This time around I am feeling good. My recovery was pretty straightforward, and I have prioritized rest to give my body what it needed physically and have lots of time to bond with this baby early on. I feel a bit like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop and start to experience a bit of a decline in how I’m feeling/my daily mood. Not physically, but emotionally.
We are past the euphoric high of the first few weeks, and we are very, very, tired. So far, I am still okay - some bluesy feelings, snappy responses (to my husband) and times when I know my reactions or annoyance to something happening is induced by fatigue or hormones, so maybe I will be lucky and continue like this. I am always amazed by the vast changes that mothers experience in the process of having a child. We are so physically and emotionally changed - it is sometimes hard to catalogue all the ways, and I sometimes struggle to articulate the magnitude of the physiological changes to my husband. He is, of course, changed too, but in different ways, and sometimes it can be hard to relate to one another. His main focus, in addition to now being back at work, is on our older kids, and on our household, to make sure our big, regularized routines continue to run, while I (mostly) focus on the baby.
I will admit that it sometimes feels a bit mundane to take care of a tiny baby — maybe what’s actually hard, now that I feel physically back to normal, is slowing down enough to match the pace of newborn life. It’s very different from my normal pace, and it is a challenge for me to move at that pace. I feel a lot of restlessness, and a lot of wondering around what I am “accomplishing” or crossing off the list each day. And, I am also constantly in awe of both this tiny baby - soaking up moments with her, of how much love there is for her in our family — watching my two older kids love their baby sister is a true gift, and realizing just how resilient and adaptable to change we all are.
We have a pretty good system in place to make sure that we each are doing what we need to do to take care of ourselves (as best as possible), and it mostly revolves around splitting up the nights to make sure we each get a solid stretch of sleep. My husband takes the baby for the first part of the night while I go to sleep early (like, 7:30PM). He brings her to me to nurse and then eventually puts her to sleep in the bassinet in my bedroom and he goes to sleep in our guest room while I am on baby duty. It means that even in the toughest of nights, we each get some solid uninterrupted sleep and it makes a huge difference.
It also means that the second the bedtime routine starts with our big kids, it is entirely business. Making sure they get through the steps of their bedtime, nursing the baby & getting her everything she needs, getting into PJs as fast as I can and then turning my body off as fast as possible so that I actually sleep. Getting the sleep in is totally worth it for both of us, but it is also not that much fun! It means that now that my husband is back at work, we barely see each other, which is getting a little bit old! But, as I mentioned - our adaptability to change is high - this is our new normal routine and it’s fine for now.
Even though I am feeling good, and am prioritizing sleep and rest, and I have lots of help with my other kids during the week, and a partner who had (and took!) paternity leave so that he can get time with the baby and our growing family, there is something profoundly lonely about the postpartum period. Even with the very best of friends and family, and friends who are moms and get it/have been through this phase before, and having been through it before myself - twice! - it’s a weird time! Filled with some of the highest highs and the lowest lows. The lack of control can be hard to come to terms with - especially as you lack control over so many different things — your emotions, your body, your baby’s needs and desires, the list goes on.
It’s a period of transition - getting to know a new version of yourself, your new baby, this new member of your family, and if you have other kids see how everyone else is adapting to the change and helping them through it as well. There is a lot to be thinking about and taking care of while you are going through your own transition. It’s a hard time to be a caregiver. But if there is one thing I know as a mom of three (it still feels incredibly surreal to say that or write it down - how can I possibly have three kids?) — everything is a phase. Although it might feel like an eternity when you’re in it, when I think back and remember it, I’ll have to squint and scratch my head and rack my brain to remember if it happened for a day or two or weeks. This time is fleeting! And hard, and crazy and emotional and oh so sweet!
So, if you’re in the thick of the postpartum period, or preparing for that period, or no where near that period - no matter what you are going through — you are not alone, and, this will pass!
And, I think it’s important to make sure you are doing things to make this time as easy as possible, and enjoy the early baby days! So I wanted to share some things that have made my life easier and better in these early postpartum days. This is not a “postpartum essentials” list - I think you can find plenty of those online (although my advice is to take everything they give you in the hospital and then figure out what you want more of once you get home). This is more about the things that I am loving at home - they aren’t directly related to recovery, they’re all the things I’m using that make my day-to-day with a newborn a little better or easier!
Audio Books via LibroFM and Libby: Scrolling your phone every time you feed a baby might be tempting, but I’ve found that it’s not great for my mental health. Trust, I have a solid social media addiction, but I try really hard to make sure I’m not constantly scrolling my phone. It’s especially off limits at night time. Listening to audio books is something that brings a lot of joy and gives me something to look forward to even in the middle of the night. Fun, addicting, light-hearted, escapism books are the name of the game - some recent favorites include Fourth Wing, The Five Star Weekend, The True Love Experiment, and Happy Place (also check out my “Read with Me” highlight on Instagram for monthly book recaps!) I have a LibroFM membership (an alternative to Audible that allows you to support your local bookstore) and use my Libby membership (via my local library) avidly! If you are interested in a Libro.fm membership you can use my referral link to sign up!
Wireless Headphones: Make listening to Audiobooks totally handsfree - so you can listen on walks, folding laundry, preparing dinner, rocking a baby to sleep! Also just great to be able to listen to books or podcasts hands free when you’re with a baby — on walks, folding laundry, preparing dinner! I do have Airpods, but only because I use them for work. While I do love them, any pair will totally do the trick!
Tap Light: How I existed without this with my first is a mystery - I think we put towels or scarves over our bedside lamps to dim the light. This light is perfect for middle-of-the-night feeds, diaper changes, checking on a baby - just enough light to see what you are doing without turning on full overhead lights. I keep it on my bedside table at all times, even when there isn’t a newborn there, because it’s also a great light to use to read that doesn’t bother my husband if he is sleeping. Also makes a great little nightlight or bedside light for a preschooler or toddler! I know you can get something much fancier and more expensive, but I’ve really found that this one does the trick!
Bluetooth Eye Mask: I’ve talked about this a few times on Instagram, because I use it so much! This little eye mask has bluetooth speakers in it. It’s a very useful little device to listen to an audio book or white noise to help you fall asleep at night. I used it to blast white noise in the hospital so I could sleep at anytime and escape from hospital noises!
Mini Fridge: I got this from a friend who was finished with hers, but having access to a tiny fridge where I can put breastmilk without having to go all the way downstairs (my bedroom is on the third floor of our house) every time I pump or collect any excess milk is amazing.
De-Puffing Eye Patches: I wear these on most days, and putting them in the mini-fridge is a real delight. Even as I am starting to get better sleep, it’s just a nice little ritual for the morning.
Tinted SPF + Tinted Under Eye Cream: My getting ready routine is pretty simple right now, and between the heat + limited time, I want light coverage that makes me feel like I look alive and rested. My favorite Tinted SPF is EltaMD, but I have also been loving the SunBum Glow. And of course, I am using my beloved Replenix tinted eye cream nearly daily. On days I don’t use that one, I also love the Supergoop! Bright Eye - this is a lighter color than the Replenix, but blends very well!
Simple Matching Sets: I wrote in depth about my tips and tricks for getting dressed postpartum, including many ideas for outfit uniforms to make getting dressed simple and something you can look forward to. In addition to my faithful bike shorts and button down, athletic dress and bike romper that I wear regularly throughout the week, I am loving matching sets. There are a few really inexpensive ones that are great to be able to wear on repeat! I love this shirt and shorts from Gap (I have the version from last year), this shirt and shorts from H&M, and these shorts and shirt from J.Crew.
High waisted, slight compression underwear- Once I’m ready to give up the mesh underwear the hospital gives me postpartum (don’t forget to take home as much as you can and I have also always ordered extra on Amazon!) I want something with a bit more support, but that isn’t too precious to ruin (read: I can wear a pad and potentially leak in without freaking out!) and of course, that fits. I got this inexpensive set and am so happy with them. Gentle, but supportive, looks good with clothes, worked with a pad and am still wearing them/into them 6 weeks postpartum! I also have this set from Bodily that I love!
Sleep Crown - One great thing about having a baby in the summertime is that there is so much light. You go to sleep and it’s light out, you wake up and it’s light out. The only issue being - when you’re awakened by a crying baby at 4:30 in the morning and you finally get the baby back to sleep only to find…it’s light out and the birds are chirping…it can be hard to get back to sleep. Enter the Sleep Crown. The sleep crown is a pillow specifically designed to cover your face when you sleep. It blocks lights, muffles sounds and gives gentle pressure on the head. In other words, it’s divine. A few mornings ago, I didn’t wake up until woken by my daughter’s chirping at 7:45 AM, despite being in a room with just slightly light filtering shades. It’s glorious!
It IS weird living in a small house with a complete stranger! 🫶